My Papau

Today at about 7:30 in the morning, my papau passed away. Please expect this entry to be rambling because I don't know how else to write it. The truth is that I'm not absorbing it yet. I do in parts, fits and starts that hurt like hell. I know it's going to hurt more and more over the next few days. I've had some rough bouts of sobbing and missing him and being scared of what it's going to be like without him in it.

It was peaceful. He was in the hospital earlier this year, and he's been declining since. He was tired. He worked hard his whole life fighting for his family, his country, building a home that was always full of love and light. Some of my most amazing memories are at grandma and papau's house: papau taking me fishing, doing jewelry work with grandma, the big breakfasts the two of them would put together on Sunday mornings before church.

And I'll always have those. I'm scared of the idea of what life will be like without papau in it, but I will always, always be grateful for the things that he did do for me and for all of us.

This is the last photo I have with him. I took it when I was down to visit a week ago.

A sweet friend from my rpgs sent me this poem which she picked for her grandfather's funeral:

God saw you getting tired,
And a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you,
And whispered “Come to me”.

With tearful eyes we watched you,
And saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands to rest.
God broke our hearts
to prove to us,
He only takes the best.